Quotes from The Self-Importance of Being Carlos
Carlos: Stress debriefing? What a waste of time. If there was a scale that ranked the hugest wastes of time, stress debriefing would be like the hugest.
Carlos: I want to be a doctor, that's all I care about. I only said that other stuff because I wanted to date you.
Jennica: That is so low.
Carlos: See? Do you see what I'm saying? I'm a bad person.
Jennica: Do you think it's strange for someone to like someone else who just doesn't care about anything?
Carlos: Well, I don't know. I don't care.
Doc: You don't see the irony?
Carlos: The irony I see, the humor I'm missing.
Carlos: What are you doing here?
Bosco: What, you mean this isn't jazzercise class? What do you think I'm doing here? I got some BS civilian's complaints so Christopher's making me suffer.
Carlos: What happened?
Bosco: Ah, I had some trouble with a can.
Carlos: A can?
Bosco: Yeah, a Domini-can, a Mexi-can, I don't know, one of them south-of-the-border greaseballs.
Carlos: I slept with a girl, now I gotta wear this stupid name tag.
Carlos: The road to superiority is paved with compassion.
Faith: What are you guys talking about?
Carlos: Compassion.
Faith: So, that was a pretty short conversation, huh?
Alex: Labels are so misleading. It's like how they call Rocky Road Rocky Road when really it's just some almonds and a couple chunks of chocolate in it.
Carlos: There's marshmallows too.
Alex: Exactly.
Carlos: This is not funny to me. To me this is serious. You're the one that's gotta evaluate me, so instead of making fun of me why don't you help me?
Doc: You just used the word "me" five times in four seconds. I'm not sure, but I think the Guiness people owe you a plaque.
Doc: You know what? I'm not gonna waste my day with you because I'm really startin' to think that you're beyond help.
Carlos: I'm startin' to think that I'm beyond help too.
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